We have just learned here today at CCN, by reading CNN, that 1.8 million pounds of beef has been recalled in at least 9 states because it has been "tainted". Now, we didn't look up this new terminology but we're pretty sure that "tainted" is when somebody has rubbed their bare taint on the raw meat….well, that or it means millions of cow taints accidentally found their way into the meat grinder. Either way, this is terrible news for anyone planning on eating uncooked beef in those states affected because, let's face it, who wants to eat cow taints – dee-sgusting!
Official meat people at the place that they do all the meat stuff and things, said "Check the label on your ground beef to make sure it displays the 'taint free' sticker". They also noted that the "tainted" beef may come with E. Cola, those cough drops from The Sound of Music. We're not sure if the meat people planted the cough drops in the beef in hopes of offsetting any taint odor or bacteria but, hey, free E. Cola!
"What CAN we eat this Memorial Day?" you ask? Well, the good news is that the FDA has given the thumbs up to the alternative meat affectionately known as "pink slime".
Happy Memorial Day!